i exist

Just got off the phone with the swedish embassy in Belgrade, Serbia. They phoned me up, on my swedish phone, which I never use, but have lying next to my bed because it works better as an alarm clock then my spanish stoneage phone... very good timing that I was actually at home.

I answer as I normally do in swedish: "Hej det är Sara." Just to hear a female voice asking:- Is this Sara Vall? (- Yes, I just told you, what are you deaf?....wasn't what I answered) I answered very politely, already having the creeping feeling that it was like an official call from someone important. (Yes, I have an obvious problem with authorities...) Then she explains to me that my serbian friend that is coming over new years to Sweden has a ticket that doesn't correspond to the dates I put in the Visa application, and now they have to make sure that it's ok if she stayes a bit longer.

It's hard to put in words the feeling I have after this conversation. I feel like crying or throwing up. Tijana, we're the same age (no actually you're some months older..) and we're both students of architecture. This is just so unfair. The world can not be this fucked up. I can go wherever the fuck I want whenever, probably could forget my passport if it was a journey within the Schengen, and nobody would hold me back. But you have to get permission from me to even get out of your country. The world is mad. I feel ashamed of being a part of this system.

Another really creepy thing about all this is that I got the feeling that she was calling only to make sure I exist. In the visa application I had to make sure i have full responsibility (economical) for my friends stay.

Why the hell aren't we doing anything about this completely fucked up system. I feel very small and cynical. The world is mad.