the tears don't help

I feel lost. And the worst thing is that I do feel sorry for myself. Pathetic. School project isn't moving at all and hearing my aunts tired voice on the phone after sending messages to a lot of people that NONE of them answered, it all of a sudden was too much, the tear fountain opened. Some people just have that effect on you. I keep hearing my friends voice in my head after having told her that the only thing I'm looking forward to is writing on this stupid blog, she then said. "Yeah it's easier to live your life writing about your "so called" life, instead of actually living it." So I keep writing about me pretending to have a life and crying because I feel lost, and nobody wants to tell me where to go. I'm completely blank and feel i could just jump on the next train to anywhere if someone just gave me a reason good enough for doing so. But the world is silent. I want it all to make sense again.